he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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