I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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