Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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