Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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