Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
