we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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