We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
