I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
