Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
