How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
