White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
