Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We are all done wearing pants today
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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