Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
