Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
