my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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