sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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