I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize