Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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