I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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