..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
