Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I want to fling myself into the sun
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
