I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
