he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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