her vagine was all disorganized.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize