Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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