You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
