there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize