I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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