we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize