Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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