Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
