Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize