AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
