I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
