I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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