oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
