She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
