Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize