I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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