Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
