Welp...herpes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
