Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize