How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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