hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
