we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
