Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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