tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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