You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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