THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
