So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
