if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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