just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize