Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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