somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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