I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
