I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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