Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
