So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
