spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
