How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
