I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
