Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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