i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
How's work?
Spinning.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
