i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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