i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
