i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
