My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
