My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it's like heaven, but drunker
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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