she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
