halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
