its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
it glows. i had to have it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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