If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
