I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
