I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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