help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
