the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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