real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
