Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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