We're facebook friends in real life
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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